Atomic Number: 6 Atomic Mass: 10,565 Sq Mi Electron Configuration: A mix of colonial bricks, Harvard degrees, and Red Sox hats Melting Point: Drops drastically when the Red Sox blow a lead Special Properties: Highly reactive in traffic circles (aka “rotaries”) and when discussing Tom Brady’s legacy. Attracts extreme weather, bad drivers, and students with high SAT scores. Warning: Exposure may cause an uncontrollable urge to yell “wicked” before adjectives. Year Discovered: 1788
