Atomic Number: 17 Atomic Mass: 44,825 Sq Mi Category: Midwest workhorse element Electron Configuration: A mix of rolling fields, bustling cities, and inexplicable giant roadside corn statues. Boiling Point: When someone says, "Isn’t that just part of Indiana?" or debates the superiority of Michigan. Special Properties: Strongly magnetic to presidential campaigns and mysterious “Ohio is pivotal” narratives. Vibrates constantly with the sound of marching bands and O-H! chants seeking an I-O! echo. Bonds equally well with Buckeyes, chili on spaghetti, and random LeBron James trivia. Warning: May cause an intense loyalty to college football and an unusual tolerance for gray skies. Year Discovered: 1803
